Title is self explanatory. I’m miserable. I’ve been struggling the past few months, more than usual since starting my meds. I was forced off them again temporarily because my doctor wouldn’t renew my prescription without seeing me, and I was having trouble getting there. I’ve gone off my meds several times since starting them a year ago, and every time it gets harder. And even when I’m taking my medication, there’s still some things it can’t help with, like the fact that I’m living in a slum in a shitty area.
Our mail is repeatedly stolen. All summer I did battle with the ant colony that lives in our building. For the first few months we lived here, there was an abusive couple upstairs. The man beat the shit out of the woman, and they both beat the shit out of the kids. And there’s always something wrong with the place. There are leaks everywhere, with the ceiling tiles cracking and buckling under the weight of the water. Sometimes they get replaced, only to be soaked when the leak starts again. One of the leaks was in the bathroom right above the light. That leak has been fixed, but the tile wasn’t replaced. The ceiling tile is breaking, and the light is starting to separate from it. The walls are cracking, with the bathroom wall being the worst. Every day more of it falls down, exposing the dirty, rotting wood behind the plaster. Pill bugs are always crawling out of it, and once I saw a small millipede. I’m not exaggerating the the place is a slum, and our landlord a slum lord. But the people forced to live under slumlords rarely have the ability or resources to fight against them.
On top of all that other things have been stressing me out, which I don’t want to talk about here. It’s greatly increasing the stress and a big part of that is because it’ll be much harder to get out of this hell hole and better our living conditions. The only thing I can say for it is that it has at least been moving quickly, so maybe it will continue to do so, so hopefully thing’s will be resolved in my favor within the next few months.
T went to visit her family over the weekend due to a health crisis, so we got to watch her animals. I stayed over one night, but didn’t have it in my to stay any longer, because it was too hard being away from my own pets. I was very happy to see Fuzzy though, who I’ve missed greatly. I miss Beebs and Littles too, but at least they have each other. My Fuzzball needs more attention than they do. See was so happy to see me, bouncing around and licking me. When I sat on the couch she jumped up next to me and put her paw on my arm. The night I stayed over she slept with me. She’s such a good dog. It was so hard to leave her, she was so sad. We hope to get a house within the next couple years, and if/when we do we’re going to fight hard to get Fuzzy.
As we’re heading into the holiday season, my mood will not improve. We probably won’t have a Thanksgiving, and we definitely won’t be having Christmas, but we will be forced to hear about them non-stop.